Learning Curves: My Fun Blog

On life. One learning curve at a time on the path to becoming a renaissance man.

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A few days ago I felt anger. I was truly insulted.
I felt this physically - I am a very aware person, both to my feelings and of my body.

This is not a common occurrence with me. In fact, it never happened in such an extreme manner - so it was new to me.
I nearly never get angry or feel insulted. I sometimes get "angry" for a second, saying "say what??" but it's over 'just like that' or at worst in a few hours. I am not an angry person in the true sense of the word.

I like to understand my feelings, as there was a time when I couldn't. Back then, I would act rationally and not understand I've been hurt. While I still miss things at times as it is an on-going process, those days are behind me.

This particular time, when I recognized what was going on, I was angry and it indeed affected me physically. It lasted for days.

I now understand why. Giving something a name often helps.

I've been bullied.

I let myself be bullied because the situation did not warrant a response. Sitting in a meeting and being dictated to, being treated as a second-rate person, is not something I am willing to let happen, and yet I did.
Being deeply connected to what was going on emotionally. Making sure the outcome of the meeting was "good" was important to me. I think the reason for all of this was because it wasn't really "me" there, I was a representative, which meant my feelings come second. We learn.

I was caught off-guard as I don't expect these things in my private life where people who surround me care about me.
We learn. We grow. We do things differently.

I hate bullies. I've never been bullied even back in high-school, I see no reason to start now by allowing it to happen. I just didn't realize it was happening, which is something I need to think about.

Putting this in words helps me understand it better, and I already feel better. I am not looking for sympathy, just quiet empathy. No reason to reply to this post.



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